In yesterdays blog I listed a series of questions that I had hoped to have answered once I received my security clearance. I also stated that I didn’t ever get the answers to most of those. Well, it turns out that one of my faithful readers actually has the answers and is kind enough to share them with the rest of us. Because of the nature of the information and the sensitivity of the sources I cannot provide his/her name - suffice to say that he/she is known to many of you. Enjoy…

Revelator: Hope this helps…

Who really killed Kennedy?
- LBJ.

Did we land on the moon or was that all filmed in a soundstage in Burbank?
- We landed. Myth busters just proved it last night.

What is really going on in Area 51?
- It’s part of the current ‘Air Force Partying System’ - the Air Force had too many wild parties and broke the stereo systems in Areas 1 thru 50.

Is Elvis still alive?
- Yes he is. I just asked him.

Is there really a Hanger 18 and/or a Project Bluebook?
- Yes. It’s between Hangars 17 and 19. Yes. It was a joke. Or joke book.

Is there actually a government warehouse for freaky secret stuff? And if so, is the Arc of The Covenant there?
- Yes. It’s called the Pentagon. And no - God has more sense than to leave his scribbled down notes with a bunch of idiots.

Just who/what the hell is/are the Illuminati?
- Started out as a bunch of free-thinkers in Bavaria circa 1776. Recent Wanna-be’s took the name and supposedly comprise the New World Order…good luck to them.

Are we alone?
- No. If you need proof, just call 555-1212.

Who are the “Nine Unknown Men?”
- No one knows. That’s why we call them ‘Unknown’. But I think at least one’s named ‘Bob’.

Do the Grays really exist - and if they are running the world shouldn’t they be doing a better job of it?
- Yes they do. And yes, they should be; they need all the help they can get. Please call 8675…309. Ask for ‘Jenny’.

What the hell is going on in the Bermuda Triangle - and if it’s so jacked up there why do boats and planes still go there?
- Scientists determined that it’s a weather thing. A confluence of location and jet streams. Boats still go there because of what they saw on either the Adam’s Family movie or Unsolved Mysteries.

Where is Sasquatch and why do we never see more than one at a time?
- He resides at the Holladay Park Plaza, a Portland, Ore. assisted living center. You never see more than one at a time because he’s the only one. He’s classified as a cryptid.

Was that really a weather balloon in Roswell?
- Yes. But they were inadvertently popped by a gang of extra-terrestrials who were subsequently shot down and dismembered by some angry scientists who were really counting on getting that weather data.

What’s up with Stonehenge?
- A grouping of really big rocks which are the property of the English Crown and not the reigning monarch. It’s a place of burial; a domain of the dead.

And what about the Nazca Lines in Peru? Is this “Chariots of the Gods” stuff true?
- Just animal doodles on a large scale. A precursor to crop circles.
- Of course it’s true. It’s how we got Energizer batteries and keep our razor blades sharp.

And now you know…the rest of the story.

Keep the Faith!
Revelator