25. September 2009 by Revelator.

A young John Cougar used those words as the title to his fifth album. In those moments when I’m frustrated by the sometimes low OPSEC give-a-crap-factor I wonder about those words and my mind drifts to this thought: OPSEC doesn’t matter and what if it did? Generally speaking it appears to me that no one really cares about OPSEC.

If OPSEC “mattered” then why is it so hard to get people who should care about OPSEC to actually care about OPSEC?
If OPSEC “mattered” then why is it blown off in the planning cycle?
If OPSEC “mattered” then why is it so often on the chopping block when money is tight?
Oh man, I could go on and on.

But to what end? What would be the point? No one cares. And I can’t even assume that those of you who are part-time/additional duty OPSEC POCs care. I’ve done too many OPSEC assessments and have seen with my own eyes the reality of dormant OPSEC programs around the world. I’ve done the interviews of unit personnel as they stare blankly at me when I ask them who their OPSEC Manager is or what a Critical Information List is. I’ve listened to blow-hard OPSEC POC’s who rant and rave about their OPSEC program only to find that it’s all an illusion - that nothing real exists. I’ve read Critical Information Lists that are 10 pages long and totally useless or were “benchmarked” from another unit and they didn’t even bother to change the letterhead to letterhead from their own unit. I’ve listened to OPSEC briefings that would make you want to rip your eyelids off. I’ve listened to senior leaders who talk, talk, talk, OPSEC but can’t seem to get an OPSEC section in their plans of operation. I’ve seen young just appointed OPSEC guys and gals who are ripping their hair out cuz the program they just took over sucks and they are getting no support to make it any better. And I’ve seen really good people try their damdest to do really good things and get shut down and hammered by idiots who make more money than they do.

Good Lord, why even bother? Seriously. Why bother? Hey - I’m not leading up to any great epiphany here. I’m not setting you up to tell you why you should bother. I have no intention of trying to get your emotions roiling by extolling the virtues of OPSEC and it’s devout practitioners in a vain attempt to get you psyched about how great OPSEC is. Nope. Not today.

Today I’m just bummed. OPSEC sucks - that seems to be the prevailing attitude so I’m just gonna give into it. Come on now…aside from some small pockets of success, in the vast majority of places that OPSEC should matter it simply doesn’t. And that sucks.

Keep the Faith! (your gonna need it)
Revelator

Nothing Matters And What If It Did - John Cougar

Posted in BS, General OPSEC | Print | 1 Comment »

16. September 2009 by Revelator.

“I’ve called this meeting because, as we feared, our budget has been cut 14%. We’ve game-planned for this but now is the time to get serious about what we can slim down and what we can live without.”

“Sir, if I may…we do have one program that has absolutely no verifiable Return on Investment that I think we should consider.”

“You mean, we actually have a program that is costing us money that has absolutely no ROI?”

“Yes sir.”

“Frankly, I’m a little worried that this hasn’t come to my attention before. What program are you talking about Johnson?”

“OPSEC sir.”

“Op-what-now?”

“OPSEC sir; Operational Security. You know the one. That briefing we get once a year where they tell you to keep your mouth shut. Don’t talk about work in bars and stuff.”

“Yeah, I know it. You mean that program costs us money? It can’t be very much can it?”

“Well sir, we have a full time guy who runs the program and then we have a group of people who have to spend a small percentage of their time on it as OPSEC Committee members.”

“Hmmm. So what do they actually do for us?”

“No one really knows sir. I think I’ve seen a report or two floating around but I’ve never read one and no one I’ve asked has either.”

“Let me make sure I understand…they give briefings that no one wants to go to, write reports that no one reads and take up valuable time from committee members who should be doing something else. Is that about right?

“I would say that about sums it up sir.”

“And how much will we save annually if we kill it?”

“Based on the projected cuts for this upcoming FY killing this program would save us .003% off the top.”

“Well that’s not much is it Johnson?”

“No it isn’t sir, but if we think we really don’t need it anyway then why not just kill it? It will show that we’re being proactive and not afraid to cut what some of our security professionals say is a critical program.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is happening today. OPSEC has already been reduced or just plain cut from a number of organizations. We know OPSEC is a viable program. We also know that it does not and will not ever bring in money. ROI is almost impossible to prove also. Did OPSEC save any lives today? Did a competitor not find what he was looking for when he went through our trash because of OPSEC? Did Johnny or Susie not say something critical or sensitive on the Internet today because of OPSEC? Beats me. I hope so - but we have no proof.

Sooner or later your OPSEC program will come into question. At that time you will need to be able to answer the question: “Why should we keep the program?”

The answers to that question are as varied as the individual programs and can’t be fully answered in this forum. But you need to be thinking about how to answer that question for your program and your organization. I guarantee you that sooner or later the question will be asked and I’ll bet you that if you don’t have the answer they’re looking for…

Let’s just say you and your program may be in danger.

Keep the Faith!
Revelator

Fight The Power - Public Enemy

Posted in Leadership Support, Program Management, General OPSEC | Print | No Comments »

3. September 2009 by Revelator.

I’ll never forget the night - I think we were in Lubbock or was it Wentzville…either way. I remember that Miles - that’s Miles Anthony, the lead singer of Big Slick, was really hot for this babe in the fourth row and as his top roadie he expected me to make the deal with her. You know - get her backstage and well…you know. And this was unusual because normally he would choose three or four just in case one or two wouldn’t well…you know. So I watched her off and on during the concert just to see what I could see. Well, I could see quite a lot if you know what I mean and I suspect that is what made Miles want her so bad but that’s neither here nor there.

I word or two about me is in order I suspect: My name is Night Train. Actually my name is Lance but a long time ago outside of a little bar called The Cavern a drunken Ringo called me Night Train and the moniker just stuck with me over the years. At that time I had spent three years in college and was doing a summer vacation with the love of my life who’s name I just can’t seem to recall at the moment. One night we went to see this band at a bar in the red light district called the Cavern and while I was hanging out after the show this chap in a leather jacket asked if I could help them drag some equipment to their van. Turns out that chap was John Lennon and we struck up a friendship that lasted until that fateful night outside of the Dakota. But that is the short version of how I started at a roadie. The story about why I am still a roadie is much longer and not quite as enjoyable.

So - back to that night in Barstow…or was it Philly - either way. During the drum solo (I swear Smokestack was channeling Don Brewer of Grand Funk that night) Miles asked if I hooked it up yet and I had to tell him not yet. Miles really didn’t like that answer but it was the only one I had right then. After a quick line and a towel-off he was back on stage and I was back to my job - pimpin for rock stars. Not a job I recommend to young professionals but I’m pretty good at it by now and I’m pretty damn sure that at sixty-six years of age I won’t be going to truck drivers school if this doesn’t work out. But this was 17 years ago when I still thought I would get a real job when I grew up.

Back to LuAnn (her name as I was to find out later)…She had squeezed her way up to the second row by now and had just flashed her considerable attributes to Miles and he looked at me and gave me the signal - again. Rock stars and their roadies have a complicated series of signals that would make a third base coach proud. One signal means “she can come back stage but that’s all” another means “she can come back stage if she brings her friend/sister” another means “she can come back stage but only if she’ll ___________ (insert desire here)” and yet another meant “she can come backstage but make sure she’s not a dude first.” There are more but I’m sure you get the gist of it. The signal I had just received for the second time meant “if she’s willing she can come on tour with us for a week or two.” I didn’t get that signal too often so I took it seriously.

And so I watched her. I watched her because there is a level of trust between a roadie and a horny rock star and I have a solid reputation for never letting the rock star down - or getting him arrested. And that’s the key to this whole operation - keep the rock star safe from a multitude of potentially embarrassing situations. And so I watched her. I watched her on her cell numerous times - and not that happy about it. I watched her turn away dude after dude who hit on her. I watched her as her older friend brought her beer after beer. And I noticed she didn’t have any tattoos.

And I watched as she walked away after Miles sang the last lines to their hit at the time, “Big Leg Woman” (a decent version of the classic Muddy Waters tune). As she walked I chased. I didn’t expect her to bolt so fast. I figured she would stick around and slide toward the side of the stage to well…you know. But she didn’t. She was in a hurry and I knew I would be fired if I didn’t get her backstage to Miles.

I was about to catch up to her when she met her angry mother and father at the exit. And that is when all the indicators started springing to my mind. No tat’s for one. Sure you can get your parents to sign for you if you are under 18 but not many do. And all the text messages and phone calls that she wasn’t happy about. No doubt her mom or dad had sent those. And all those dudes she turned away - no sense hooking up when your angry mom is gonna meet you at the door. And finally, it was her older friend that was bringing her the beers. Something someone under 18 couldn’t have purchased without a fake ID.

And so I had to face a not too happy Miles backstage. I just had to tell him she was underage and we were good. No way he wants to mess with any jailbait - not again, at least. In the end he hooked up with a reporter for a local rag that was much more age appropriate for my aging rock star. I am happy to report some 17 years later that they have been married for 15 years now and have two kids. The boy is named Thor and the girls name is LuAnn. I guess even if you’ve had as many as Miles you never quite forget the one that got away.

OPSEC - keeping rock stars out of jail for 60 years.

Keep the Faith!
Revelator

Jail Bait - George Thorogood and The Delaware Destroyers

Posted in Indicators, BS, Risk | Print | No Comments »