Idiot Wind
15 October 2010 by Revelator.
I tried to hold off.
I swear I did.
As the author of a blog that I’ve clearly stated is about OPSEC, the whole OPSEC and nothing but the OPSEC I really do try to write about OPSEC related stuff. My long-time readers know though that sometimes I fall off the wagon. And usually when I do fall off the wagon I find myself writing about Fortune Cookies. Not cuz I love them…I mean they’re not bad but I could live without them. No; it’s because I have a small pet peeve (one of many I assure you). This particular one exists because I believe that when one opens a fortune cookie it had damn well better have a fortune in it. I’m not saying it has to be a good fortune - hell; it can say “You will die a horrible wood chipper related death tomorrow at 4pm.” It’s not about the fortune - it’s about not finding a fortune.
For reasons I’ve yet to be able to fathom fortune cookie producers have apparently run out of fortunes. I mean, they must have or they wouldn’t be stuffing my fortune cookies with inane faux wisdom and senseless inspirational messages. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: It’s a fortune cookie damn it and it should have a fortune in it!”
Fortunes: Things that happen or are to happen to a person in his or her life.
That is what it says in the dictionary. And that is all I want from my fortune cookie - a prediction of things that are to happen to a person in his or her life. Instead here is a sample of a “fortune” I got out a fortune cookie recently - “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”. Clearly not a fortune. But if not a fortune then what is it? An order? A direction for my life? I’m gonna call it advice. The only problem is that if I wanted advice I would have opened an advice cookie which to my understanding doesn’t exist so why then am I getting advice from a freaking fortune cookie? If the world wanted advice there would be advice cookies but clearly the world has spoken and said “No advice cookies! Give us fortune cookies.” And yet, advice is what we get.
Sometimes…
Others times we don’t even get advice. Sometimes we get crap like this: “Love is like paint…it makes things beautiful when you spread it, but it will dry up if you don’t use it.”
What the hell?
Oh, that is just soooooooo weak. Seriously? Love is like paint…? What kind of crap is that? Not a fortune to be sure but not advice either so now we have a new category of stuff coming out of my “fortune” cookie. But what is it? Wait. I don’t care what it actually is I just know it isn’t a fortune so I’m just gonna classify it as disappointing. Oh but there’s more…
“The weekend ahead predicts enjoyment.” Really? Exactly how does the weekend do that? I can see how the weekend might promise enjoyment but I can’t grasp how it can predict enjoyment. So while I was almost fooled into thinking this was a fortune I had to rule it out based on the impossibility of the statement. Next!
“Some people dream of worthy accomplishments while others stay awake and do them.” Well thank you fortune cookie for pointing out what a worthless human I am cuz I’m not out accomplishing anything worthy. I just wanted a freaking fortune that would make me, even for the slightest moment, think of the future possibilities. Instead, I get told I’m a dreamer…a lazy, shiftless, worthless dreamer who will never accomplish anything. Just what I needed to top off the meal.
And finally, the best of them all. I’m not sure what to say about this so I think I’ll just type it here and leave it for you to ponder…
“Writing is thinking on paper.”
Keep the Faith!
Revelator
Idiot Wind - Bob Dylan
National OPSEC Day
4 October 2010 by Revelator.
January 22nd - that’s the day folks.
As the anniversary of the day President Reagan (Saint Ron) signed National Security Decision Directive Number 298 into being I can’t wait to celebrate National OPSEC Day…is what I would be saying if, in fact, there were such an anniversary. Well ok, for arguments sake I guess any day that something happened would be followed annually by an anniversary but I’m not talking about just any day. No sir and no ma’am. I’m talking about a commemorative anniversary. One that celebrates all that is encompassed by the signing of this important document.
Those of you who have read one or two of my missives in this blog may be wondering just what type of tomfoolery I’m up to now but let me assure you that I am rather serious about this.
And so I ask you; why not a National OPSEC Day?
Aside from our formal holidays most “National Days” are there to commemorate but also - and perhaps more significantly - to raise awareness about a specific subject. Here are but a few examples: Family Literacy Day - America Recycles Day - World Aids Day - Human Rights Day.
And that’s a very, very, very small sample of “National Days”.
Also understand that many things are so important they merit a whole month: National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month - National Autism Awareness Month - National Child Abuse Prevention Month - Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. All very good months to be sure and again, a very, very small sampling.
On the other end of the scale we have literally hundreds of other “National Days” that are just plain ridiculous: Run It Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day - Old Rock Day - National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day - Blame Someone Else Day - National Answer Your Cat’s Question Day. And those are all contained in January - and that ain’t all of them.
With this in mind how hard could it be to create a National OPSEC Day? Actually, quite hard indeed. A truly “National” day is literally an act of Congress and takes a lot of work. The first step is to contact your local congress person. Once you have their attention, you have to create the proposal and hopefully get it on the congressional agenda before too many years have passed. If you are intent on doing it and have the patience, it can be done. I’m afraid I don’t have the time or resources to mount such an effort.
We, as a group though, just might. And quit waiting for a punch line - there isn’t one coming.
I do OPSEC for a living. I think it’s important enough to dedicate my golden years doing OPSEC and hopefully (on some level) making OPSEC something better today than it was yesterday. And I know for a fact that there are hundreds (thousands?) of you out there doing the same as I am. I would name names of those I think are really contributing to the OPSEC profession but that would appear that I am calling them out as opposed to proving to you that I’m not the only one out here that respects OPSEC and works hard at it.
So what is next? I have no idea. I didn’t write this as someone trying to rally the troops around me and this idea. No - I just wanted to plant the seed and tell you that I think a National OPSEC Day would actually be a good idea.
The question now is - who will step up and try to make OPSEC a little better today than it was yesterday?
Keep the Faith
Revelator