- The Revelators OPSEC Blog! - http://whatisopsec.com -
Idiot Wind
Posted By Revelator On 15 October 2010 @ 21:49 In BS | Comments Disabled
I tried to hold off.
I swear I did.
As the author of a blog that I’ve clearly stated is about OPSEC, the whole OPSEC and nothing but the OPSEC I really do try to write about OPSEC related stuff. My long-time readers know though that sometimes I fall off the wagon. And usually when I do fall off the wagon I find myself writing about Fortune Cookies. Not cuz I love them…I mean they’re not bad but I could live without them. No; it’s because I have a small pet peeve (one of many I assure you). This particular one exists because I believe that when one opens a fortune cookie it had damn well better have a fortune in it. I’m not saying it has to be a good fortune - hell; it can say “You will die a horrible wood chipper related death tomorrow at 4pm.” It’s not about the fortune - it’s about not finding a fortune.
For reasons I’ve yet to be able to fathom fortune cookie producers have apparently run out of fortunes. I mean, they must have or they wouldn’t be stuffing my fortune cookies with inane faux wisdom and senseless inspirational messages. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: It’s a fortune cookie damn it and it should have a fortune in it!”
Fortunes: Things that happen or are to happen to a person in his or her life.
That is what it says in the dictionary. And that is all I want from my fortune cookie - a prediction of things that are to happen to a person in his or her life. Instead here is a sample of a “fortune” I got out a fortune cookie recently - “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”. Clearly not a fortune. But if not a fortune then what is it? An order? A direction for my life? I’m gonna call it advice. The only problem is that if I wanted advice I would have opened an advice cookie which to my understanding doesn’t exist so why then am I getting advice from a freaking fortune cookie? If the world wanted advice there would be advice cookies but clearly the world has spoken and said “No advice cookies! Give us fortune cookies.” And yet, advice is what we get.
Sometimes…
Others times we don’t even get advice. Sometimes we get crap like this: “Love is like paint…it makes things beautiful when you spread it, but it will dry up if you don’t use it.”
What the hell?
Oh, that is just soooooooo weak. Seriously? Love is like paint…? What kind of crap is that? Not a fortune to be sure but not advice either so now we have a new category of stuff coming out of my “fortune” cookie. But what is it? Wait. I don’t care what it actually is I just know it isn’t a fortune so I’m just gonna classify it as disappointing. Oh but there’s more…
“The weekend ahead predicts enjoyment.” Really? Exactly how does the weekend do that? I can see how the weekend might promise enjoyment but I can’t grasp how it can predict enjoyment. So while I was almost fooled into thinking this was a fortune I had to rule it out based on the impossibility of the statement. Next!
“Some people dream of worthy accomplishments while others stay awake and do them.” Well thank you fortune cookie for pointing out what a worthless human I am cuz I’m not out accomplishing anything worthy. I just wanted a freaking fortune that would make me, even for the slightest moment, think of the future possibilities. Instead, I get told I’m a dreamer…a lazy, shiftless, worthless dreamer who will never accomplish anything. Just what I needed to top off the meal.
And finally, the best of them all. I’m not sure what to say about this so I think I’ll just type it here and leave it for you to ponder…
“Writing is thinking on paper.”
Keep the Faith!
Revelator
Idiot Wind - Bob Dylan
Article printed from The Revelators OPSEC Blog!: http://whatisopsec.com
URL to article: http://whatisopsec.com/2010/10/15/idiot-wind/
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